Do Wii Have a Problem?
Small video Game Controller Causes Big Headaches
Unless you live
in a tent in the woods with no electricity (not that there’s anything
wrong with that), or maybe even if you do, you’ve heard about Nintendo’s
next-generation gaming system the Wii (pronounced “wee”). Even
Steven Colbert admits an addiction to playing it. This brilliant and entertaining
system is different from the PS3 and X-Box 360 in its affordable price (only
$250 compared to $400-$600 for the others) and extremely accessible and
entertaining gameplay. The controls are motion activated with few actual
buttons on the two-piece controller, thus narrowing the learning curve for
new gamers.
Despite these attractive qualities, the Wii can present a significant risk
to those who are clumsy or, for lack of a better word, stupid. Many reports
have been filed about controllers being thrown through expensive televisions
and people getting clocked in the face by an over-enthused gamer. One woman
has even died as a result of a contest to win one for free. This month,
Shout! takes a look at these Wii-related disasters and the people behind
the carnage.
The first disaster we will look at involves a 7-year-old boy and his new
birthday present: a Wii and the game Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz. He
was understandably excited to receive this game as a gift, and was playing
with all the enthusiasm of an elementary school aged child with the hottest
new toy. When his sister challenged him to a hammer throwing contest in
the game, he understandably became very competitive. Not wanting to be beaten
by a girl, much less his sister, the young boy began spinning with all his
might, only to lose his balance and smack his forehead into a computer desk
leg. A few tears, a trip to the ER and four stitches later, he was as good
as new. This result was decidedly better than being 7 years old and losing
a video game to a girl.
Another
violent episode occurred between friends during a particularly intense boxing
match. When one gamer began to lose, he responded with a particularly vicious
left-hook. The sheen of sweat on one half of the controller made it a bit
difficult to hang on to, and it slipped from his grip at an astounding speed.
Tethered by the cord that connects the two halves of the controller together,
it swung like a hyper-pendulum and clocked his friend just below the eye.
The skin was broken, and within seconds swelling set in. By the next day,
the poor guy’s eye was swollen shut. He looked like he had gone a
round with Tyson instead of a Nintendo controller.
Humans are not the only species that are in danger. Several pets have also
been the target of Wii violence. One ill-fated cat darted across the living
room just as its owner let a forceful bowling ball swing fly. While the
controller remained in the woman’s hand, the end of the controller
caught the unfortunate feline in the face, cracking one of its teeth right
in half.
A number of inanimate objects have fallen victim to controler wii-elding
(sound it out) gamers as well.
The internet is full of pictures, some Photoshopped, some not, of controllers
sticking out of televisions, stereos and walls. Ceiling fans, which tend
to bite gamers back, have also been the target of violence and at least
one camera is now short an LCD screen.
The most serious (and least funny) Wii disaster involved a woman named Jennifer
Lea Strange, a dangerous radio contest and a medical condition known as
hyponatremia. A radio station in Sacramento, California sponsored a contest
called “Hold Your Pee, Win a Wii.” Contestants had to drink
a certain amount of water within a certain amount of time, and the last
to urinate won the coveted system. As several contestants dropped out, some
urinating, some vomiting, some complaining of feeling “drunk,”
Strange held strong.
At the end of the contest, she was expected to return to work. She called
the office in tears, however, complaining of headaches and nausea and returned
home to sleep it off. Her mother came by to check on Strange, and found
her dead from drinking too much water. The cause of death, hyponatremia,
results when too much water is consumed and important salt balances in the
body are thrown out of whack.
Regardless of these disasters, ranging from humorous to tragic, the Nintendo
Wii is here to stay. We in fact, are highly interested in trying a Wii.
But a word of caution to those of us about to embark upon this accident-prone
little game: wii’d better be careful.
Story by Zeke Bergeron
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